1 /5 K: Pain And Anguish on a Thursday evening
The average man weighs 180 pounds in the US, that’s an estimated 37.2 trillion cells, or 3.27 × 10²⁸ atoms. Even so, if the word “hate” were written on each atom there would not be enough to express the loathing I feel for this atrocious creation. This abomination feeds upon the dreams of hungry workers on Friday after a long week, expecting decent chicken and chips only to get crushed over and over by greasy, under-seasoned slop served by indifferent staff who use the cheapest oil and the stingiest portions to see imaginary profit margins grow and reach a sort of greasy nirvana.
If you’re looking for something to do this Friday after a long day of work, consider these questions: “Do I hate myself?” “Can I replace this stomach lining?” or “Is there anything better to do?” If any of these are even remotely true, consider activities like playing in the street blindfolded or a 126 mph no-hands challenge—any of these would be a better option than ordering from S Deen Kebabish.
The “chicken” tastes like it was boiled in regret then flash-fried in despair, the chips are soggier than a forgotten mop, and the whole sad meal arrives late, cold, and somehow both overpriced and insultingly small. Avoid this place like the plague it resembles. There are infinite better ways to ruin your evening.
