2 /5 ady: Went here for dinner and the food was shockingly bland.
We asked for the popular dishes and something filling, but were politely told that none of the portions were really that big.
We were recommended the pre-show menu, which was the Rip & Dip platter with one veg and one meat mezze.
On the menu, the Rip & Dip section has the description: “pita tears, dips disappear as flavours dance and fill the air.”
This is almost complete BS.
I genuinely could’ve paid a homeless person to steal a tzatziki from Sainsbury’s, eat it, and poop out something with more flavour.
And yet, that still wouldn’t come close to how dull, neutral, and bland the baba ganoush was.
After every spoonful, I became more hyper-focused. I rubbed it around my palate, swished it like I was at a wine tasting, and tasted nothing.
The last time I experienced pure nothingness like that was when I first got COVID, which briefly made me think I had it again.
After finally accepting defeat, I moved back to safety: the beetroot hummus.
I love hummus, it’s nostalgic. There was some taste here, but it felt like being 30 minutes into a movie and realising the rest was just ads.
The bread was alright. But the portions were so small they wouldn’t fill a hungry mouse in Auschwitz.
I wasn’t even through the starters and had already started questioning my mental health.
I ordered the prawn bisque pasta and felt slightly hopeful again, as it reminded me of the prawn chicharrón I once had at Gaucho’s, which I still think about.
The prawns were tender, warm, and had a great texture when bitten into, but once again, the flavour was lacking.
So I focused on the pasta, which looked like Nik Naks. I kept spooning them into my mouth with very little ROI. Before I was even halfway through, I found myself looking around to see if anyone else had realised they’d made the wrong decision by eating here. I was alone, so I continued to blend in.
I had a small bite of the roasted chicken and there was some taste, I can happliy admit, but it wasnt exactly pleasant or enjoyable. I didnt order it so I my friend make her own judgment and she simply said it was just underwhelming.
The best thing we ate, hands down, was the pan-fried halloumi. That genuinely blew me and my friend away with each bite, but there were only two bites.
The portion was smaller than a £10 note, which is also how much it costs. I could’ve easily eaten four of them and avoided needing to write this review.
We both got the lemonade. Most of the glass was filled with ice. Needless to say, it was also underwhelming.
I hadn’t eaten all day, and initially we both agreed to stuff ourselves with dessert, but the food was such a waste and disappointment that we didn’t even realise how quickly we wanted out of there.
I work in hospitality myself, and I’m genuinely dumbfounded as to how this restaurant has 4.9 stars with 4k+ reviews.
The staff, however, were excellent. Very professional, friendly, and engaged. We spoke to several hosts and waiters. I even asked a few if they enjoyed their jobs and only heard praise. The team seems to get along, which is always nice to see, especially given how toxic hospitality environments can be.
