2 /5 Ophelia Aasa: #
2/5 Stars (Stars are purely for the staff)
Look, the staff here are absolute legends. They’re genuinely the friendliest, most elite service you’ll find in Reading. It’s just a tragedy they’re forced to hand over such a vile, underwhelming substances cosplaying as food.
It’s a complete joke for and even without consideration to the price. The burger arrived looking like it had been through a car compactor—greyer than a concrete estate in croydon, bland, and mashed into a soggy pulp inside that foil greenhouse. The meat has zero seasoning, looks like cardboard and taste like ground up leather soles. Then there’s the opt-ins. There’s "relish" presenting as red-tinted dollops of sticky goo, raw onion cut into chunks the size of Lego bricks, and "fried" onions collapsed into baby food rather than anything close to caramelized. Not even mustard can save this mess. And the limp fries are a paradoxical marvel, somehow covering the full textural spectrum between dry, soggy and greasy wood chips that have been steamed into submission.
I feel like I drove through for a nice chat with the magical elves taking the order, then took a wrong turn to Mordor.
How you can charge these prices for a burger that looks like it’s been sat on and tastes of absolutely nothing is beyond me. Great people, shambolic food.
