5 /5 Jay: When the ravens reached us upon the mountain with word of true smash burgers we scoffed, and yet we came. We came to disprove yet more claims of burgers smashed which in fact so often are just thin burgers of ordinary flavour but let me tell you brothers, for the first time, the ravens are true. Gather the children for we have a tale for you all.
Summoned were we to this hallowed forge of beef. As we descend the halls our noses fill with deep scents of bacon fried, and the walls ring with the echoes of spatulas working with skilled hand against the anvil of flames.
We need not browse the menu for it has already called to us. Maple burgers with cheese fries demand the ancestors, and we can only oblige. From behind the counter the great craft begins. A man fierce and hairy and of the oldest and noblest bloodlines emerges from his hold below, and with lightning strikes and thunderous scrapes he sets about his canvas of steel. As he works the beef and toils the toppings we hunger, we wait.
Two plates come laden with fries of deepest gold and hewed in the finest cheese, all around a great tower of smash and maple. The fries are unlike anything from our lands. The crunch like the chips of legends told. "You have set upon the hairs of Freya herself" laughs the bearded craftsmen from the grill beyond, and he does not lie for these chips are something divine.
The burger is indeed, a true smash burger. Such a term so often applied but never realised this side of the great sea but here at the House of Hudson they have done it. They have carried back the secrets from the lost colony and brought them back to share with the folk of Albion. The burgers so perfectly caramelised to balance both crunchy outside and yet they hold fast the juices sealed within. At the moments end we both shed a tear as we come to regard our plates turn empty, and yet, we are deeply satisfied.
As we head back to brave the winds and the long wander home he calls "Take care travellers, and we shall see you again in these halls, I think" and this great warrior of the griddle speaks only truth. He knows what he has done. He has plied his craft, and shown us his finest and so he knows we will crave again. And we will. Soon, I think. But for now, it is time to get belly up in front of the telly.
Thank you my friend. Never change.