3 /5 Luke Newton: We dined here, ordering the 3 course menu before a 730 concert at St. Paul’s cathedral. The reviews of this place were not as glowing as some other options a bit further away, but we opted for a place that was easily walkable. I’m giving 3 stars bc 1 star can seem hyperbolic but honestly as it relates to food, it was a beautifully plated one star. First the positives. Both our fish and duck were cooked perfectly.
For first course Wife had the faux gras (walnut) and it was interesting on the first bite but mushy and not compelling after that. I got the other option and I’m not entirely sure what i got. Every single element of the creatively plated dish was unpleasant. The salty fingers were not pleasant alone and not treated with any technique to make them interesting (maybe pickling or candying them would have made them interesting). The other elements seemed to be some sort of root that was supposed to be a vehicle for the garnishes but the sauces were unpleasant. I tried them all as some different bite combination to try to find the interesting bite. I never found it.
For the mains, I got the duck. The cook was perfect and the potatoes were great. The sauce on top was some sort of raspberry glaze that seemed about as complex as some $3 raspberry bbq sauce that I could get at a grocery store. The truly greatest flaw was in my wife’s fish/curry dish. My wife took one bite and commented that her mouth was entirely overwhelmed with salt. I tasted her fish and it was fine, so I tasted a piece with the curry surrounding it and that was the source of what seemed to be an entire box of salt. I’m not talking about just salted above preference, I’m talking about something that tastes like someone unscrewed the salt shaker top as a joke and the entire container was poured in. She could not enjoy anything after and picked around to try to salvage the other elements but left mostly unfinished. I don’t think we have ever sent a dish back but we joked that perhaps today was the day. We didn’t but when they were cleaning up, we did comment to the waiter that it was inedible. I think we expected them to taste the curry in the kitchen and realize that someone had made a serious error of proportion. But the service continued as if everything was perfect.
Dessert was very delayed. (We had informed them the day prior of our time constraints and they assured us we would have plenty of time.) maybe there was some staff missing from the kitchen? Bc there was only one other table in the entire restaurant for the entire evening we were there. The desserts were fine but we rushed a few bites bc we had to leave and pay. Part of this trips goal for us was to eat great food, completely unhindered by price…and it was delightful with 5 Michelin restaurants and many others that seemed very close. This one restaurant will be memorable for all the wrong reasons. My wife and I still have funny flash backs to how surreal the experience was. Honestly the whole experience made us think we were possibly in a hidden camera reality show where horrible food comes out beautifully plated and the guests are recorded, trying to convince themselves that the food is good. And the show just escalates with worse and worse dishes coming out. There was just one other couple in the restaurant and it seemed entirely more plausible that it was a reality show than the dishes actually being this bad…by the way, I would totally watch that reality show if someone wants to steal my idea.
